Pause.

Life is a little less sweet. Death is a little less bitter." -- Amish Proverb

Monday morning I got the news that a really good friend of mine from college passed away. She had been very sick (complications from H1N1) for a short time and I had been praying fervently for a miracle for her life.

She & her husband were wonderful people. My life is richer by having them as part of it. They have a beautiful 6 year autistic son.

I am able to read her obituary online. But the tears keep making the screen blurry.
I fumble around with my words as I attempt to let her husband know I am praying.

I found myself squeezing MY husband a little tighter last night.
Stopping to breathe in his goodbye embrace this morning.
Committing once again to live, really LIVE fully in this moment.
THIS very day we have together.
A life lesson that God is continually teaching me.

Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties.

After all, everyone dies—

so the living should take this to heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter,

for sadness has a refining influence on us.

A wise person thinks a lot about death,

while a fool thinks only about having a good time.

Ecclesiastes 7:2-4

All of that & a bag of chips too!

Every day on my way to work, I pass a church that is doing fantastic things in our community.  I am impressed by their "out-of-the-box" thinking and their vision/plans for a community center complex is amazing.  They are in phase 1 of a building project that will eventually include a children's play area, two full soccer fields, a baseball field, several walking trails and picnic shelters in addition to their church buildings. I admire their vision very much. 

That being said, they are currently advertising for a FALL FEST at their church.  There are two signs on the road with details about the event ... date, time, location, etc. .... that I see each morning.  Part of the advertisement includes "POTATOE SALAD" as what they are offering in terms of food that day.  For various reasons, that phrase made me chuckle just a little bit when I first saw it.  I mean, come on', is potatoe salad a draw?  Who attends or doesn't attend because they are serving potatoe salad? Is potatoe salad that seductive? So as I drive by, I smile a little bit, shake my head and go on ...

Until I started thinking about it ... 
What good is a picnic without potatoe salad?
A tastey serving of potatoe salad compliments a hot dog meal perfectly.  When you eat potatoe salad, you know if it is a good potatoe salad vs. a bad potatoe salad don't you?  Take a bite of some potatoe salad that is sour or not seasoned properly and it ruins the whole meal.

There are several areas in my life that I really need to just be a good potatoe salad. 

A committee I serve on....  a team project at work...... holiday plans for my extended family.
I don't need to be the star,( i.e. the main course..... ) I just need to be willing to work beside those who are in charge.  How much smoother would things happen if I make the choice to be complimentary to whatever is happening?

Perhaps Jesus was trying to make this very point when He said, "The first will be last and the last will be first ...."

Beautiful Things

In my lifetime, I have watched dreams die.
Things I prayed for did not come true. People have hurt me.
That is why this song speaks to me.
I have seen brokenness healed. I have experienced beauty from ashes.
I testify to you that God does make beautiful things out of dust.
May you be encouraged today; catch a glimmer of hope and hold it tightly.
God is at work.



“Beautiful Things”
All this pain I wonder if I’ll even find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Readin'. Writin'. & Prayin'.

SO, the boy started kindergarten.

As a family, we decided we wanted to send him to a Christian School. There is a fantastic one very close to my office and the logistics all seem to work out. (There was a bit of a dramatic flare to the event, because he was registered, then we were told there was no room for him, then they called & had room for him two days after school officially started ...... but when is our life ever simple? Mmmmm) It has been an amazing, wonderful step for us. From the moment we walked into this school, we knew it was where we wanted to be. Even on the very first day, as tears spilled out of my eyes watching my big boy walk into the classroom, I felt such peace.

To say the boy LOVES it is an understatement. I pick him up in the afternoon and as he climbs in to the van he is rapidly discussing what he learned that day. His brain is being stretched and he is absolutely loving the experience. It is a fantastic adventure, one that we hope & pray will continue to be with him for his whole educational journey. We excitedly review the day's papers and he is actually disappointed when there is no homework sheet in his folder. And almost daily, the Poppa prays a blessing over the boy (& sister girl too) that he would "grow in widsom & in favor with God & man."

I am not alone in recognizing this is another milestone in the journey of motherhood. The emotion of it has taken me by surprise at times. I believed I was "super-woman" and would not be affected by this step. O.contrare. The transformation of my preschool son into a real, kindergarten, school boy has me scrambling for many a Kleenex. It hits me at various times, but most often as I watch him hop, jump & run out to meet me at the end of a day. His face & hands are usually grubby, his shirt disheveled and pulled out of his shorts, the grime and sweat making his unruly hair to spike up in various parts.

I look at him in that moment and I see it for what it really is.
A moment.
Such a beautiful one, but oh-so fleeting.
Five years feels like only a few days....

Recognizing the weight of this causes me to pray harder, more earnestly. And it feels like I am the one who is being taught. Learning to shape my life, my actions, my words after Jesus. Knowing that is only through His grace that I can be the mother my children need me to be.
Lord, help ME to "grow in wisdom & in favor" too.

And as Jesus grew older

He gained in both wisdom and stature,

and in favour with God and man.

Luke 2:52

Tidings of comfort.

~Psalm 23~
(A psalm of David)
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness; For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.

Covering all the bases.

Once upon a time a harried mom & dad took a trip
With two adorable preschoolers, who both had to make an emergency potty break.
....blah...blah...blah..

The family chariot pulled off the interstate into a Target parking lot and both parents rushed to get the said kiddos out of the vehicle. Upon exiting the vehicle, they quickly realized that they had locked the keys (the only set of keys) inside the mini van while it was still running.
....wah....wah....wah

The Momma smartly said she was going to take the offspring and run away to the bathroom and while inside she would pray for the Poppa.
Once in the bathroom the Momma instructed the children to hurriedly do their business and that it would be wise, very wise for the wee ones to join her in praying for the Poppa & the-locked-keys-inside-the-van-situation.

The boy's prayer went something like this:
Dear God, Please help Daddy. Please help the locked van. In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost, the Holy Spirit and all of the other ones too. Amen.
.....ha....ha.....ha
Very soon mall security came to our rescue, unlocked the doors and the family lived happily ever after.

The End.

Growing Pains

Personally, deep in the dark places of my heart where no one else knows me:
God is showing me some stuff that I don't exactly know what to do with.
Areas where I need to grow, to change, to improve.
Things that need to be pruned out of my attitudes.
Gaping holes that need to be filled with His grace & abundance.
Discplines that need to be cultivated.

While I won't go into specifics, nor will I share any more than just that, I will say that God has been amazingly good during this time. I began 2009 with a sincere quest to know HIM better, more intimately and He has been faithful.

This has been a good place for me, even if I have been silent here in this space. I never want to stop growing in my journey with this God who I continually fall in love with.