Kingdom come.

Today I am missing my friend Rod.

While I now live in this world of winter, my heart is hungry for the time of eternal summer.

Pause.

Life is a little less sweet. Death is a little less bitter." -- Amish Proverb

Monday morning I got the news that a really good friend of mine from college passed away. She had been very sick (complications from H1N1) for a short time and I had been praying fervently for a miracle for her life.

She & her husband were wonderful people. My life is richer by having them as part of it. They have a beautiful 6 year autistic son.

I am able to read her obituary online. But the tears keep making the screen blurry.
I fumble around with my words as I attempt to let her husband know I am praying.

I found myself squeezing MY husband a little tighter last night.
Stopping to breathe in his goodbye embrace this morning.
Committing once again to live, really LIVE fully in this moment.
THIS very day we have together.
A life lesson that God is continually teaching me.

Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties.

After all, everyone dies—

so the living should take this to heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter,

for sadness has a refining influence on us.

A wise person thinks a lot about death,

while a fool thinks only about having a good time.

Ecclesiastes 7:2-4

Anniversary

Today marks a solemn day for my entire family.
One that changed the landscape of my heart & faith forever.

Twelve years ago today my beautiful niece Claudia fell asleep only to wake up inside the arms of Jesus.

It's impossible to capture the emotions of this day, so I won't mar it with useless words.
There continues to be so many questions that have no answers.
Today, I choke on the words, "Blessed be the God who gives & takes away."
Selah.

A great cloud of witnesses

While I am not in the Catholic tradition of celebrating Feast Days, today I wish I was.

Just this week, my heart hurt a little bit while thinking & remembering our dear friend Rod. I miss that guy. It still takes me by surprise that he didn't get to meet my kids.

I've got a great group of folks waiting for me on the other side. Grandpa M, Claudia, Jonathan, Shera, Granny Yates, Cecil Phillips, GGrandma Maggie Jane, Rod, Lisa, Rita, Grandma M, Bev, Deana.

It is encouraging to think that they are cheering me on.

All Saints Day gives me reason to pause, to reflect and to be encouraged to continue in this race.

Let the river flow

Last spring, my friend D.H. spoke with the Poppa about being baptized. It was her dream to be baptized in the Cranberry River. A place where she found much soul comfort & peace. It was where her family camped every summer and she loved being there. We tentatively made plans to join them on a camping trip and incorporate the baptism as part of our time together. However, summertime came & D. was not feeling well at all. She just couldn't shake her symptoms & as a breast cancer survivor, her doctors ordered several tests. The camping trip never materialized, although she spoke often of being baptized in this certain spot in the Cranberry River.

Early September, it was determined that the cancer was back. This time she was given a timeline. She bravely faced treatment with boldness. She was a fighter; her husband & two teenage children were in the battle with her. It was fierce. It was terrible. And it was heartbreaking.

In December, while Hospice plans were being made. Her husband tearfully asked Chris to baptize her. John remembered her dreams of being baptized in the Cranberry River and his voice cracked with emotion when he realized this was one of many dreams they had dreamed together that were not going to come true.

My amazing brother-in-law and sister-in-law made arrangements/drove the 2 hour drive to pick up a gallon jug filled with water from the Cranberry River. (I am in awe of their selfless spirits to do this. They truly gave over & beyond of themselves.)

I was in the hospital, standing on one side of her bed, her sweet husband on the other, when Chris opened the jug of water and lovingly sprinkled her forehead with the Cranberry River. It was a holy moment as he whispered, "In the name of the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit, I baptize you."

Her breathing was labored, her smile weak.
Just a few days later she woke up in the arms of Jesus.

~~~~~~~

Two weeks ago, her two teenage children stood before our church family & declared themselves followers of Christ. They gave testimony to their desire to follow Him. As part of this testimony, they wanted to share in believers baptism. And so, my husband brought them before our baptistry pool to signify their commitment.

But before they stepped into the pool, water from the same jug of Cranberry River water used in their mom's hospital room was mixed in.

And I cannot tell you how completely moving it was to hear the same words spoken over them, "In the name of the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit, I baptize you."

I was undone.
It all seem to swirl together, this life and the next. Life everlasting.
Joining with the church universal by giving witness to their new life in Christ by being washed in the water. The same water which also gave witness to their mother's commitment of following Jesus.

I witnessed their baptism while my arms were wrapped around my 4 year old son. And I prayed that just like my friend before me, my children would find relationship with the God I know & love. That this life will be joined by the next. Life everlasting.